You don't see me either.
You're like the others.
You don't wanna know, you don't wanna see. You assume and you judge. You don't love, you don't understand, you forget all about me, about us. I've been by your side during five years, without flinching, without doubting you were the one. You don't see that. You don't see I came back because I still believe, because I though you were the only one that could see right through me. You're pushing me away, you believe I'm low, you despise me because I did what you did. And it's all wrong. It's all wrong because I'm not you, so it's something disgusting, something in me, in my nature, I'm like that, and "hey, don't worry, I'm not mad, it's normal for someone like you." What we did was no excuse. I don't plan to live like that. I'm not like that.
I'm fierce. I'm faithful. I believe in being devoted to someone. I was devoted to you. And then you treated me as if I had the soul of a whore. You gave yourself away as well, in the past. Perhaps you don't see it. I see it. And I know it's not the way it's supposed to be. The way you are. And I don't forgive you. I won't say that it's nothing, thinking you'll forgive me as well. I don't plan to live like that. I'm not like the others. And still, in your head, I became the classic girl with the classic moves, you expect nothing great from me anymore. But I'm not classic.
And I'm not lying. I don't hide things from you even if I know it's gonna drive you mad. You know every little thing. And still you don't want to see me. Still you don't trust me. Still you don't trust me enough to tell me everything. I don't want us to be like other couples, suspicious and dead. I want you to know everything.
By the way, she just called to tell us there was another file competing for the appartment.
So, I'm letting it go for today. I just wanted to feel that you loved me. I thought I could be happy. But you were right, I'm not strong enough.
