I feel so lost. I'd like to start fresh, erase all the lingering crap and see things beautiful again. I feel like anything I say is turning into a giant cataclysm that takes away the few good things left. I feel like anything I dream about is never going to turn real. My hopes are not even in this world anymore. Nothing is good or simple. I wish I could count on them to make me feel alive, but it's like they don't care. They run away from me, cutting me out, they don't want to handle my unsteadyness, yet I handled theirs. All this is so unfair. It makes me feel unwanted. It makes me feel the bad guy when I say it out loud. It makes me feel like a monster. It makes me want to die. I wish I could die. I wish I could die.